{ Our First REAL Ultrasound }

The spotting had diminished and today marked 6 weeks.  We had our first real ultrasound scheduled with Dr. Lin.  This ultrasound was to let us see how many embryos were viable and to also see your little heartbeat.

There were still two sacs in there but it was apparent that one of them just wasn't making it.  I was obviously saddened by this but that was only momentary when I saw you!  You were a small little grain of rice and in no way looked like a baby.  You were too small to be able to hear your heartbeat but it was now strong enough to be detected and be seen on a monitor.  It was now real.  You were real, we were your mommy and daddy and you had a little heartbeat that was fluttering so fast and made mine skip a beat.  I couldn't believe how much we already loved you.

{ Something Isn't Right }

I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, nothing abnormal at this point.  I get up about 300 times a night to pee I feel like!  For some reason though I didn't use the master bathroom and went to the bathroom down the hall.  I was half asleep but I didn't miss the red blood on the toilet paper when I wiped.  I don't know much but I know this isn't supposed to happen right now!  I freaked out, as any  normal person would, and woke your daddy up right away.  I tried to think logically about what this could be but the only things that came to mind were bad thoughts.  It couldn't have been implantation spotting because that usually happens earlier in the pregnancy and I never had any of that. 

I had no choice but to call Dr. Lin, not that there was anything he could do at 11:30 at night.  Sure enough, he answered the phone.  He's such an amazing Dr.  I truly can not repeat that enough.  He sounded half asleep, I couldn't blame him...I would have been too!  I explained how much spotting there was to him and discussed everything else I had/hadn't been doing.  He assured me it could be nothing at all or it could have been the worst.  Either way there was nothing we could do at the moment.  Even if I went in for an ultrasound right then it was too early to detect a hear beat so we wouldn't know the quality of the embryo.  He said to lay flat and rest and in the morning to call him or Kaiser to go in for an ultrasound for peace of mind. 

By morning my spotting had lightened and Daddy went to work since there wasn't much he couldn't do.  I called Kaiser and made an appointment to be seen that day but couldn't get in until 5:30 which meant had all day to wait and stress!  I could have gotten in earlier with Dr. Lin but considering we paid $350 for each one of our ultrasounds there and only a $20 co-pay at Kaiser, I opted to wait. 

Daddy got off work in time to come with me to the Dr., thank goodness.  I needed all the support I could get and I didn't know how I was going to feel after hearing any news.  We did an ultrasound and saw 2 sacs that were both there and looking rather healthy.  Guess Dr. Lin's guesstimation of twins was right.

One looked a little smaller than the other one but that could have been because it was a day behind or it could have been because it wasn't surviving, which would be a reason for the spotting.  We had to wait until next week for our 6 week ultrasound to verify the viability and hopefully hear a heartbeat.

Here is your first picture!  You are obviously the bigger one of the two.

{ BETA #2 }

I had to go back for another blood draw (BETA) 48 hours after the first to make sure the numbers were doubling like they were supposed to.  Back to the blood sucking nurse I went!

Once again we had to wait until that evening to get a call back from Dr. Lin with the results but when he called it was like music to my ears.  My new blood levels were at 500!  They were doubling perfectly just like they were supposed to.  I was now officially 4 weeks and 2 days pregnant!!

At 6 weeks along we would go in for our first ultrasound to confirm the number of embryos that have attached to the lining of my uterus.  Two weeks seemed like forever away, I couldn't wait to see you!

{ The Moment of Truth }

Today was the day.  The day I had dreaded and wanted nothing more than to sleep through.  I had to go to Dr. Lin's office first thing to draw my blood for my pregnancy test.  Its not a pee on the stick kind of pregnancy that gives you instant results so I had to wait for the lab tech to run my blood work and Dr. Lin to call me that night.

I walked into the office with my head hung low, completely discouraged and looking like a sad puppy dog.  My usual nurse was there to suck my blood and saw the sadness in my face.  We talked about it briefly and she tried to be positive but she too seemed a little worried.  She bandaged me up, shipped me off and I went to work to carry on with the rest of my day like normal.  Except it was anything but normal.

All I had to do was make it through the entire day and some time that evening Dr. Lin would be giving me a call with the results of my blood work.  Thankfully the day passed rather quickly at work.  Guess being busy does keep your mind somewhat distracted.  After I got home it dragged.  I cried several times in fear for that call.  I wasn't ready to hear the news because I was certain it wasn't going to be good.

It was roughly 8:00 PM.  I was sick to my stomach and just ready for the day to be over.  I hadn't eaten cause I was sick to my stomach with nerves.  Daddy acted like his normal self: calm, cool, and collected.  This is a quality I love and hate about your daddy.  Its great in moment like this because he just doesn't let stuff affect him, or he at least doesn't show it, but it can also suck for those of us on the outside who are freaking out and thinking he just doesn't care.  You'll see us argue plenty about this over your years growing up, don't worry!

Daddy went upstairs to go to the bathroom.  Of all times to duck out for a while now was not the time.  Not only was Daddy not around I had also finally gone into the kitchen to force myself to eat something because I knew I had to.  Just as luck would have it, my phone rang and it was Dr. Lin.  However, I didn't hear it!  How could it be?  I had that thing glued to my hip all day long and the one time I turn around he calls.  UGH!  I called right back as soon as I heard the last ring and noticed I missed it and he answered, daddy was still upstairs!

Dr. Lin was his usual happy-go-lucky self but I on the other hand was about to throw up.  He started off by saying "well, your blood level came back at 250".  Uh-huh, okay, get to the damn point was all I could think.  I actually may have said something to that effect too, minus the poor language of course.   He let me know ideally 9 days post transfer they hope to see levels around 100 and the fact that it was 250 was indicating that not only were we pregnant but we likely had twins!

My world came to a screeching halt.  I did not cry but I instead screamed in his poor ear.  I couldn't believe my ears!  Dr. Lin laughed at my reaction and listened to me as I screamed up the stairs to Daddy who was yes, still in the bathroom.  He let me know I needed to come back in 48 hours for a re-draw to make sure my levels were doubling like they were supposed to and told me congratulations. 

After I hung up the phone I ran in the bathroom and took out a pregnancy test.  Many people give in on the day of or before and give in to peeing on the stick.  I couldn't do it until I heard it straight from his mouth.  And seeing that I didn't believe it was true, I took it upon myself to double check with a little HPT. Sure enough, it was positive.  For the first time in what seemed like forever I was seeing those two pink lines I had only once dreamed of!

Daddy finally came down stairs sporting the biggest smile ever.  All of our dreams were coming true.  Everything we had hoped for, fought so hard for, and worked our asses off for was finally happening.  We were going to be parents, your parents!